Regrets
by Andrea O'Down
Summary: This was for tmntflashfic's challenge on tumblr back in July. The theme was "Regrets". It takes place right after the episode "Tale of the Yokai".
1. Chapter 1

Oroku Saki doesn't regret. Even more importantly, he _can't_ regret for what he's done was right and just and needed to be done.

The Hamato Clan was destroyed, and it was all thanks to him.

He's the heir of the Foot Clan so it was his duty to let them pay for the death of his people.

It doesn't matter that the Hamatos let him live and raised him alongside their own heir, Hamato Yoshi.

And it doesn't matter that Hamato Yoshi has been like a brother to him. No, not _like_ a brother, he's been his brother.

And now he's dead.

Saki himself saw him being buried under these burning beams.

No one can survive that, not even a ninja as skilled and strong as Yoshi.

For a moment, Saki feels something, but he reminds himself that he isn't allowed to feel anything else than satisfaction. The deed is done. His clan has been avenged, and the Hamatos are destroyed, once and for all.

They should have seen it coming, but the Hamatos, they've always been too kind. Otherwise they would have killed him all these years ago with the rest of his clan. And they should have, for in this world, there is no place for kindness.

They shouldn't have lied to him all these years, only to tell him the truth one day. Lies should always be lies, that's why they are lies.

But they did tell him the truth because it was the right thing to do.

These Hamatos, so kind and noble. And now so dead.

He's done the right thing tonight. Avenging your people, that's the right thing, isn't it?

A picture of Tang Shen flashes before his mind's eye, and for the first time, he allows the feeling to spread.

The pain of losing her.

She shouldn't have gotten in the way, it was her own fault. It all happened too fast, he hasn't been able to stop, not even if he wanted, and oh, he wanted to!

No, she shouldn't have gotten in the way, giving her life for the man who's been his brother for so long and turned into his enemy by blood in the course of a story. A story they call truth.

But Saki has some truth for them now as well: He's done the right thing.

It was his duty as the last of the Foot Clan, and he did good.

The Hamatos are gone, only the Foot Clan is left.

It was right, it was just, and it is done.

No, Oroku Saki doesn't regret. All he feels is satisfaction and power.

And whatever it is that is curling in his guts, that is making him feel all cold and sick, it has to be something else.


	2. Chapter 2

Tang Shen waits for the pain to come when the blade hits her. She waits for it to run through her like a lightning, white and terrible.

She waits and waits, and it never comes.

It takes her a while to understand what that means.

Then she waits for the darkness, sweet, warm darkness to wash over her like a wave and make her forget everything.

It never comes either.

So she is trapped somewhere where she can't see nor hear or speak.

All she can do is remember.

And she does remember.

She remembers every little detail of her death.

She remembers seeing the dojo on fire and running inside, she remembers how the fire's warmth felt on her skin.

She remembers seeing Yoshi and Saki fighting, and she remembers that she wanted to stop them, that she needed to stop them.

And so she jumped in the way, without thinking.

Oh, if she had only taken the time to think for one second and she would have realized that it was too late.

No one could have stopped that blow, not even someone as strong as Saki.

She remembers the shock in Saki's eyes when he saw her, and there was pain in his eyes, too.

Tang Shen doesn't know if it was the pain that he was about to kill his brother or the pain of knowing that he was going to kill her.

It was pain, that's all she knows now.

She'd never been able to imagine how far Saki would go.

This whole world of ninjas and vows and honor, it has never been her thing.

She had to deal with it, of course, that's one of the downsides of falling for a ninja. But she'd never gotten too much involved.

This world, it was too ancient, too old-fashioned for her. And when she saw the dojo on fire, she knew she'd done right to stay away.

And now it's not her problem any longer.

While she waits for the darkness, she hears the cries of a baby, _her_ baby.

 _Miwa!_

She wants to shout her name, she wants to protect her, and she can't.

She should have stayed with her child.

Who is going to protect her now from the ninjas and their old-fashioned way? Who is going to protect her from a world so full of honor and blood, that it is going to get her killed in the end?

Not Tang Shen.

Not anymore.

The pain comes, but it isn't the pain from the blow that for sure ripped her body open, but it hurts just as much.

Miwa is going to live her life among ninjas, and she's going to suffer.

Tang Shen knows it as much as she knows that she can't do anything about it now.

Or ever.

No, Tang Shen can't do anything except for waiting and remembering things.

And knowing things.

She can even feel her daughter's pain or at least she thinks so.

More than anything now, Tang Shen now wishes for the wave of darkness to wipe her away, for her soul to dissolve in the nothingness of the universe, to disappear and never be gone like a drop of water in the ocean.

It never happens.

Tang Shen always thought that ghosts can never regret anything.

She's been wrong.


End file.
